12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 9

On the ninth day of Christmas Chaos I would like the universe to give to me….9 ladies dancing.

No, I'm not getting a divorce. No, I'm not unhappy in my marriage. But yes, I want 9 ladies (and I'll use that term loosely) to show up at my house and dance for me. They can do a jig, a riverdance, breakdance, or use and abuse my furniture like its 1999—it doesn't matter to me. They will not need to worry about being judged or "racking" up a certain number of points.  While the ladies get their groove on, I will be sitting in my recliner wearing a plush, oversized Santa hat and consuming an obscene amount of eggnog out of a moose mug.

The ladies are free to wear whatever they choose, but I do have one request: they must come dressed with some kind of Christmas theme. Whether they want to show up in a sea of red and green sweatshirts or as Busty the Snowwomen, Santa's Red-Laced Reindeer, or the MILFs on the Shelf—it's all good, as long as I see some effort. There is nothing worse than having a group of ladies show up at your door looking like they got paid to be there—it's quite humbling.

So here is what I need universe…9 ladies to show up, shut up, and start movin' and groovin' in my family room. Santa, I promise not to record them or Skype them to the Interwebs, nor will I think evil thoughts before, during, or after the show. Just a few hours of their time on cold, dark, and lonely Wednesday night—is this too much to ask?

To see previous days, click below:
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 8
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 7
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 6
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 5
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 4
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 3
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 2
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 1

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