Planning for college just became more difficult - English or 20th Century Klingon Literature?

As loving parents and bad ass dads, our mission is to provide our little spawns roots to grow and wings to fly. And while it would be wrong to dictate their future career options; such as being a left handed pitcher for the Chicago Cubs and finally break the Billy Goat curse by pitching a NO HITTER in the seventh and final game against the Yankees, we do need to help them make the choices that will help them find their calling in life, such as pitching for the Chicago Cubs. Unfortunately the no goods at NASA just made finding our spawns calling in life WAY harder by expanding the options exponentially. Those turds at NASA never do anything small.

A few weeks ago NASA ruined your college planning by announcing that the probability of alien life is like, well, totally probable. This article http://www.dailygalaxy.com/my_weblog/2012/01/-nasa-probabilty-of-alien-life-in-the-milky-way-increasing-exponentially.html explains in mathy terms how there are a ton of earth like places out in space, meaning that alien life most likely exists.

So what does that mean for us? We are the generation of globalization. Our smart friends became international lawyers and business people. They started import export businesses or made their way to the top of some big corporation by offshoring the call center. As a generation we have both benefitted and suffered from globalization. We can get any kind of fruit any time of year, furnish our living room at Walmart with the change we found in the cushions of our old sofa, but also have witnessed friends jobs moved to foreign soil and struggle to reinvent their careers and passions. Before we complain or cheer the affects of globalization, we should realize that it was merely phase 1, and if NASA keeps pushing to infinity and beyond, our kids will be asking to join the Univerisity of Pheonix's Inter-Galactic Bussiness program, or The University of Chicago's program for Universal Economics. Studying the romance languages will hold little allure compared to the dialects of The Central Milky Way and the field of medicine will expand from Wookie Podiatrists, to Banta Brain Surgeons.

So thanks NASA! Thanks a lot for making a difficult task damn near impossible. It was hard enough helping guide our little ones to the path of happiness when there was thousands of options, now with gazillions I don't even know where to start. And I bet that foreign exchange program 12 light years away ain't cheap either. But I'm not giving up. I bet a left hander from the north side will still be able to make a career for himself, whether it be pitching against the Yankees, or the Vulcans.

Posted by Stunt Ben


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