Stunt Dad: 100 Days for My Baby Girl: Day 92

Day 92

As noted last week, we are entering the home stretch of the 100 Days for My Baby Girl Project. With just 8 days remaining, I am dedicated to doing something special everyday for K2.

Until now, baby has only left the house out of necessity for fear of exposing her to unwanted germs. But, the outdoors is a good thing: she gets fresh air, sees new sights, and hears new sounds. And, you get to get out. Away from the house that needs to be cleaned, away from the dirty clothes seem to never stop piling up, and away from your wife (I mean that in a nice way, honey).

So, this day is going to be all about exposure (no, not THAT kind of exposure, you dirty minded individual!). And here is what I’m planning to do:

Take My Daughter Out on a Date

It's going to be our first date. I'm a little nervous, a little anxious, and a little frustrated. That last 1st date I went on, I ended up marrying the girl, so I'm feeling a little pressure. I've made a list below to help keep me cool, calm, and collected and remind me of the key do's and dont's...

Keep it nice and easy: Don't feel compelled to spend hundreds of dollars trying to impress her; she's only 3 months old, her expectations are minimal at best.
Be early: And bring flowers. Show her this is important to you and that she's not just another baby that you're taking out.
Age is just a number: Don't get hung up on the 33-year age difference; it's your daughter, she will love you no matter what 1980s reference you make.
Avoid other eye candy: Don't go to parks or malls where your daughter will feel the need to compete with other babies for your attention; keep the date private and all about her.
Dress to impress: It's your daughter, not a doll, which means she wants to be with someone presentable in public too; no scruff, no sweats, and no sandals.
Don't forget protection: She will surprise you at the worst moment—probably twice— so remember to bring extra dipes and wipes, at least two bottles of milk, and three different outfits.
Do your homework: She doesn't have a Facebook or LinkedIn page you can stalk, but she does have a mom; suck it up and ask Wifey for a few tips and tricks.
Don't drink and date: Just one beer? It means you are in a bar. Which means you a horrible father. Your first date with your daughter and you can't go three hours without a drink? You should be fired.
Stay positive: You might get thrown up on, she might have a wicked blow out, and she might start wailing for no reason. This does not wipe the smile off your face. This does not make you think about heading home early. This does not let you be anything less than the cherry, excited, rockstar of a dad that you are.
Eat what you want: Just because she decides on having "just milk" to eat, don't let that stop you from getting a hamburger, hot wings, or pizza. Having "just a salad" won't impress her.
Act interested in her: Don't spend the entire time playing Words With Friends, talking on your cell phone, or gazing off into the distance. Ask her questions, maintain eye contact, laugh when she laughs.
This is not your personal therapy session: Do not bitch about your job, complain about the bills you pay, or lecture her about boys. Talk to her, find out what makes her smile, and coo and giggle.
Don't over-analyze her: If she stares off into the distance, it doesn't mean you're boring—she is probably just mesmerized by a pigeon. If she frowns from time to time, it doesn't mean she's doesn't like you—she is probably needing to poop. And, if one minute she smiles, the next minute she cries, it doesn't mean you don't get her—she is probably trying to decide if she wants to sleep or stay awake.
Don't talk about your ex: Keep your other child(ren) out of this. Don't talk about how the older brother is such a great athlete or the older sister will become a movie star someday; it'll come across as favoritism and create a sense of bitterness.
Be yourself: If you're funny, tell her jokes. If you're romantic, tell her about the sweet things you've done for Wifey. If you're boring, tell her how you and Wifey met. Just don't be someone you're not, she will see right through you.
Give compliments: Just because she can't tell you how hot and sexy you are doesn't mean she doesn't want to be, or deserve to be, called beautiful, cute, adorable, sweet, angelic, loveable, the one and only, the light of your life, etc...remember, this is not about you.
Kill 'er with kindness: Over and over and over, tell her 3 words. As often as you can, say I LOVE YOU. True, it's just a first date and this a pretty over-the-top feeilng, but when you feel it, you feel it—right?