Nanny Dress Code, by Stunt Dad

Pic from MomLogic.com

An article on Baby Center recently caught my attention, asking if nannies should have a dress code. It was inspired by a mother feeling insecure and wondering if it was ok for her to ask her hot nanny to dress down. The responses to the post are awesome. From the realist declaring you can't keep a hot woman down..."hot women will be just as hot in a T-Shirt and jeans" to the pragmatic offering suggestions of "no skirts so they can play at the child's level". And the subject seems to be a hot one (pun intended). Mom Logic wrote about the subject of hot nannies in 2010. There are lots of opinions... but none from a Stunt Dad. And while it would be easy to tackle the subject of "If" you should a hire a hot nanny, I would rather just end the controversy altogether and deliver the official nanny dress code that will end the debate once and for all.

1. Nothing expensive. My kids are going to ruin it anyway and I'm not going to pay to have it cleaned or replaced. Cashmere smashmere, it looks like a puke mat to a 3 year old. 
2. Look as hot as you want (in inexpensive clothes). Look hot when you show up, but if you look good at the end of the day, then something is rotten in Denmark (where models are manufactured). While it is true that some women have the gift of looking just as hot in a T-Shirt as in a couture gown (my wife being one of them), lets not forget the impact of toddlers on fashion. If a nanny can look hot after taking care of your kids for a day... guess what—they didn't take care of 'em. Even Heidi Klum looks like Princess Fiona after a day with the kids. So your average hot nanny (can we just refer to them as hanny's from now on?) should have Cheerios in their tangled hair, snot (snot theirs) on their sleeve, yogurt stains on the shoulder, a shooting pain in their back and an eye tick. 
3. No heels. If your nanny shows up in heels, then they have never chased a kid about to run into the street and they ain't no nanny. Pros show up in Puma Cell Turin Running Shoes. Yes, that was a shameless plug for PUMA, but hey, you will get 30% off select styles if you use the link and Stunt Dad will get beer money. 
4. No dangly earings. My 8 month year old almost ripped a pair off his aunts ears today. Foolish aunty. 
5. Jeans that make your ass look fat. You know the ones, from Walmart that came free with a frozen turkey. The kids don't care and it will make mommy so happy. 
6. X Boyfriend's favorite shirt. Nannying is the proper way to destroy his favorite hockey jersey, especially on finger paint day. And when he asks for it back, say you threw it out after the kids had a diaper explosion.

Final advice: Dress like you're going painballing for the first time. Being a nanny is pretty much the same thing without the rules and ref. You will be shot at, you will chase and be chased, you will fall, you will dive, you will shed blood. You will be tempted to crawl behind a bush and curl up in the fetal position, but you will resist...not because you are strong, but because you know hiding is futile. Pin It Now!