Tuesday, April 10, 2012
With a bottle of White Vinegar...
Scenario: It's 2am and your kid just puked all over the bed, the floor, the bathroom, your shoes, you and the dog. You, your house, your kid and your dog smell of kid puke. The mess, the smell, the interrupted sleep are of no circumstance to you. You are Stunt Dad. You can handle it. You stand in the shower with your kid clothes and all, wipe off the tears and tell him everything is gonna be alright. You help him put on a fresh pair of vintage Starsky and Hutch PJs, take his temp, and hide the worry while you rock all 35 pounds of him back to sleep by singing the sweetest rendition of No Woman No Cry that has ever ever been performed in tighty whiteys. And even though your arms are burning like you are curling 50lb dumbells at the gym, you fight through it and make sure to vamp extra long on "everything's gonna be alright". Once your buddy is sound asleep and on the mend you have to move quick. The faster you clean up, the more sleep you get before the sun rises, the better you do at work, the more money you make, the more you pay grandpa and grandma to watch the kids on Saturday nights so you and the wife can grab dinner out and get it on like you once did when your only responsibilities in life were making each other smile and planning your next vacation. With all that on the line it's no time for fancy gadgets and a cart of cleaning supplies. Stunt Dad's need clean messes as fast as they are made, if not faster. So Grab a T-Shirt, and a gallon of White Vinegar . Vinegar is the cleaner of choice for old school pros. It's cheap, effective and safe. It's Stuntastic. You add 1/4 cup of vinegar to a bucket of hot water. Wipe off the toys in the yellow puke road to disinfect, mop the floor, scrub the carpets, throw the blankets and sheets into the washing machine with another 1/4 cup, spray vinegar on the windows to clean up the projectile remnants and wipe with newspapers. You can even use it in your dishwasher, as well as wash off pesticides from your fruit with it. And if your kid takes a swig, it won't be a big deal he'll just puke...again and your cleaning supplies will already be there waiting for you.
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