A battery of kids hospitalized...for eating batteries.

The CDC will publish a report tomorrow revealing that a large number of kids 4 and under are going to the emergency room for eating batteries. The biggest culprit is button batteries, accounting for more than half of the incidents. Bottom line...keep button batteries out of the house. Click for details... Pin It Now!

Don't Digress, Recess!

Slate posted a nice article about the resurgence of recess. Apparently complete dumb asses started cutting recess tears and years ago. The rationale was that kids needed more time to learn and recess was just play. Clearly those dinkleshits didn't apply themselves during recess, cuz here are the 3 things I learned in recess that are pretty darn useful to this day.

1. Subtracting time - the first thing recess taught me was how to figure out how long I had to sit at my desk and pretend to pay attention until recess. At 8:45 I still had 75 mind numbing brutal minutes to go. At 9:25i was half way to salvation and if I asked to go to the bathroom, I could kill 10 more minutes in the hallways leaving only 25 minutes of suffering left. I use this skill almost everyday as I sit in meetings staring out the window daydreaming of playing kickball.

2. The art of diversion and working as a team - when we lost our rubber ball for playing pinners on the roof, we were forced to put aside our playground differences and work as a team. We would all pitch in to create a diversion so 2 kids could sneak down to the local corner store and buy another ball. Diversions ranged from shoving matches to faked injuries and sometimes a few needed to be string together if the shop keeper took the time to count the pennies.

3. Life is a popularity contest - perhaps sad, but true, kids need to learn early that friends pick friends to be on their team. It is just as important to be fun to play (work) with as it is to be good at something...the best is when you can be both.

So if your school is talking about recess, speak up and shut the idea down. There are valuable lessons to be learned on the playground.

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Books bad for kids, say experts

As your little one heads off to school you may daydream about your little one someday becoming a surgeon, lawyer or search engine giant. But experts say all those books are bad! At least for your kids back. 13K kids were treated last year for back injuries due to their heavy backpacks. So what's a dad to do? Burn the books? Well, if you have a whole lotta gumption, encourage your school to get into the cloud and deliver homework and books via PDF files. Many bookmakers are offering schools digital versions to save the trees and your kids back, not to mention the expense of printing and shipping. But aside from changing the system, a little common sense goes a long way. Encourage your little one only to bring home what they need. It will save their little backs, and is a great opportunity to start teaching common sense. Want more tips? Check it... Pin It Now!

Jet Blue-the airline for kids? Or business traveller beware!!

Jet Blue is running a kids fly free promotion for up to 2 kids if you book your travel before Aug 29. The good news is that Jet blue has made it economical to take your kids on a fall trip to grandmas, or a game at Fenway. This move could also prove to be beneficial for the economy as business travelers will flock to buy expensive noise canceling headphones and will be required to get banana mush stains removed from suit jackets post flight. It's a win win... check it Pin It Now!

Cost of kids? Include the Tolls!

Are you keeping a running tally of how much your little ones owe you? Don't forget tolls. This easily overlooked expense on those soccer trips and "vacations" to the water park can really add up (yes we are being fatcicious). The Illinois Toll gang has created this handy tool for calculating trips and like the IPass it works in 14 states. Check it.. Pin It Now!

Leap Frog tablet makes a giant leap forward: get your iPad back

A year ago the Leapfrog tablet was a toy that could not compare with the coolness of an iPad. And while the new Leapfrog tablet is still no match, it's way better and tailored to kids. No more worrying about what try will find on YouTube using your iPad, or deleting your Mint.com app with all it's data. For 99 smackers you get video recording, music player, a touch screen, a microphone, an attached stylus and 9 hours of playtime. Nice kid friendly apps are available to turn it into a book reader, a cartoon maker and of course special Leapfrog games geared towards learning math and language skills. Check it... Pin It Now!

Parents top concern: slothy fat kids

A recent health survey among parents reveals that today's top parenting concern is lazy fat kids. 39 percent were concerned that their kids were not getting enough physical exercise and 38 percent were concerned about obesity. The good news is that it is an easy problem to fix. Kids naturally like running and jumping. If you cancel cable and throw away the X-Box, they won't sit on the couch anymore. Read on Pin It Now!

Teaching kids how not to manage money is getting expensive

CNN money reports on all thing money, including the average allowance of kids in the US. At 15 bucks per week on average parents are funding candy buying sprees, toy investments and nights out at Chuckee Cheesehead. But few are learning how to save. Less than 1% of kids are saving some of the money they earn, showing that our pee wee economy isn't much different than our grown up one. Find out more
at CNN Money

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Prep your kinderkid for 1st grade

Summer was fun, and now it is over. Your little precious isn't in Kansas anymore. Not that we are implying that all Kansasonians are still in kindergarten, obviously many have moved on to become farmers, flying monkeys and witches of both the good and bad flavor. But little Tommy, Jenny, Mikey, Lauren, Chris, er Elma has a big change coming up. 1st grade is spelled with a number, and that is NOT to be taken lightly. So hide those my baby is all growd up tears and prep your prep talk...it's game time and your little one needs to get suited up for the little big leagues.

1. Circle time is over. Kindergarten was all about community and sharing and holding hands and looking cute for preggers on tour. 1st grade is about test scores and your teach ain't gonna waste precious moments on duck, duck goose. Jr is gonna start spending some time pushing a crayon behind a desk and if you are smart (which you are since you are reading Stunt Dad) you will get a little practice in.
2. Leave the blankey at home. Teach may say it is ok, because teach won't have to suffer the next 7 years of having blankets hung on their locker door. If you fear taking the blankey away, get the sewing machine out and turn blankey into underwear. It works for me.
3. Provide some trading material. When lunch rolls around you don't want your kid getting boxed out of the trading session to watch the excitement from the end of the table. Instead prep em with a score chart, and some extras for getting into the action. A candy bar to entice a big prize, and a bag of raw broccoli so they can practice their negotiating skills will do. Throw in a bag of Doritos to create a trading frenzie reminiscent of Trading Places. Don't have a score card? Remember Anything Kashi loses to veggies, veggies lose to fruit, fruit loses to yummy sandwich, sandwich loses to candy bar, Doritos takes all. 

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Surviving The Dog Days of Summer: Kid Wash 4000

This summer has been as hot as two wookies wearing fur hats while making love at a fireplace factory. This has meant countless afternoons and weekends holed up indoors clutching the air conditioning vent. Now while I love my kids, I also need a break from being trapped like a VonTrapp in my living room.  So what's any good Stunt Dad to do? Build the best damned back yard water entertainment center that $25 and limited construction abilities will allow! Gentlemen. I present to you..The Kid Wash 4000!!!



Now before you go off and nominate me for a Nobel Peace Prize, I would like to recognize my inspiration: http://www.instructables.com/id/KidWash-2-PVC-Sprinkler-Water-Toy/. I think the base rule here is cut, connect glue, drill and have some fun.

Does anyone else have any ideas on how to beat the summer heat? Let us know in the comments below. Pin It Now!

Dadcorating: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Lamp

As we have stated before on Stunt Dad, kid's room decor sucks. My kids are not the typical puppy and rainbow kinds of kids...and dammit, I don't want them to be. The last thing I want to see when I go into  their room at night is a 5 foot Dora on my daughters bed or a wall of happy animals leering from across the room. So what is a dad to do? Start dadcorating!

Dadcorating can be defined as taking anything that you think is cool and modifying it to fit into your children's life (or better said...anything you think is cool, but your wife won't let you put up in your house).

Our first Dadcorating project for you is something I think any father that was raised in the 80's would appreciate: a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Lamp.


This is a really simple project. You will need:

• A large Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figure (you can find these at garage sales or on e-bay for around $10)

• A bottle lamp kit

• A can of white glossy spray paint

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS ARE SUPER SOPHISTICATED AND SHOULD ONLY BE ATTEMPTED BY A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! (Not really. Any schmuck with a drill and a thumb can pull this one off.)

1. Take the Ninja Turtle and pull his head off. Discard the head or your children will find it and question why you killed Donatello. 
2. Drill a hole into the back of the turtle. Be sure the hole is small enough that the cord from the lamp kit goes in tightly. 
3. Snake the cord up through the neck and be sure that it fits smoothly. 
4. Take the cord out, go to a well ventilated place (or not if you like to get high off of spray paint, but you shouldn't...you are a dad and doing drugs is setting a bad example you freak), and spray paint the headless turtle with the the high gloss spray paint. 
5. Wait for it to dry and put another layer on. You want it to be candy polish white when you are done. 
6. Once it is dry, insert the cord, connect the cord to the area where the bulb goes in (I am not a trained electrician...the round thingy). I removed the cardboard piece and place the round thingy directly into the neck. It should fit perfectly. 
7. Now all you have to do is add a bulb and voila...You have your very own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle lamp...Total cost around $25 (maybe a little more if you use an Edison bulb to make it real fancy schmancy). 

Here is the final product in all of its glory.

So what do you think? Do you have any ideas for other dads that are looking to decorate their kid's room? Let us know in the comments below. Keep coming back for more Dadcorating ideas. 

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How to keep your kids active at the end of summer

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If it was good enough for Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn it's good enough for your kids

Lemonade stand sponsored by Stoli.

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